paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
