Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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