Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
whose ass print is on the piano?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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