Did you just see the Batmobile???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
