Sry I called you an 8
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
