Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize