There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had sex on a roof
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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