is your mom at the bar?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
