I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
zippers are such a cool invention
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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