she was so not down for the gang bang
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
