I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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