Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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