you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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