you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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