I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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