i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The Olympian is in my bed
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