and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
