You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
