It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize