Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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