i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
pray to the hookup gods
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
