Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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