she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize