i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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