plz talk dirty to me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
