im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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