Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Your penis caused this!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
