I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize