and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i would one night stand the shit outta him
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
