Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
