maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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