when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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