Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
