Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
