after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
