Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
