YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
