i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize