franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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