Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
