I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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