are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
