she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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