Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
