Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
