just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm always down for nudity.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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