Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
