The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
