ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
