dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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