normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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