Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
