apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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