you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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