Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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