apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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