It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
