If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
