i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize