I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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