you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
