I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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