my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I supernannyed him into submission
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
