so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
