They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize