I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize