I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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