you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
