standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
