you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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