i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
