It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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