Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize