You can't motorboat a personality
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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