I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
