When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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