i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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