it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize