you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
